Run For It 5k – September 28, 2019 – Davis, WV

I told Katie at the start of the race that my goal this year was to not piss myself. This was a reference to last year’s race, where I was just getting back into running in September after giving birth to Bjorn in July, and the muscles down there were still not fully recovered. In order to win the race I had to accept a voluminous stream of urine leaking down my leg. Oh, the things they don’t tell you about motherhood!

• 

Run For It has become a Nelson-Schwartzbard family tradition, with Aaron’s mom running the 5k with us and my mom and Aaron’s dad taking Bjorn in the stroller in the 2k fun run. With my overall female win, Aaron’s masters win, and a bunch of age group awards, we brought in over $2,000 for the Heart of the Highlands trail system.

What really makes Run For It special that it attracts the whole town of Davis. Young and old, everyone participates, even if it’s the only race they complete all year. Because everyone’s running for their local community — schools, libraries, animal shelters. You have a lot of kids finishing their first race ever. It’s mayhem, but it’s fun!

VHTRC Women’s Half Marathon

September 7, 2019

Bull Run Regional Park, VA

I have a confession: I should not have run the Women’s Half this year. The Women’s Half is such a special event. It deserves better than a half-alive marmot. Even if I knew I could cross the line first. It takes more than that to win.

I had good intentions:

1. The WHM is one of my all-time favorite races. Where else do you get to take tequila shots and runs with giant stuffed bears?
2. As a women-only race, where better to celebrate being a new mom who’s still lacing up, no matter how sleep-deprived.
3. The image of all the new WUSsies piled into the baby thunderdome was pretty irresistible.

But I have never felt so physically ill at a race. That includes running the Boston Marathon with bronchitis. That includes running the Alexandria Turkey Trot with severe morning sickness. There is something about eastbound jet lag from Asia that just makes you want to crawl in a hole and die.

There are actually biochemical explanations for why jet lag following eastward travel is so much worse than westward travel. Physicists have shown that the cells in the brain that regulate circadian rhythms respond differently based on the direction of travel. The flight schedules make it even worse, with flights from Asia arriving in the morning in the United States, making it impossible to resist a massive daytime snooze.

Sprinkle a little eastbound Asian jet lag on top of the baseline sleep deprivation a new mom gets in her baby’s first year, and you get someone who’s not likely to enjoy running a half marathon.

I did try to show up. I did my best to race well, and managed to eke out a win even if the time was a bit shabby. I snuggled with Whitehouse Tom’s adorable Australian shepherd puppy at the finish line until my head stopped spinning and I got enough good vibes to no longer be in danger of tossing water on people (sorry, Keith!).

I did get to see all the adorable WUS babies: Knute and Skye and Cora. And even if they’re not quite old enough to interact with each other, it still gives my heart a squeeze to see them all in one place.

But, I solemnly swear to myself, I will never again underestimate the blow of eastbound Asian jet lag. And honestly, I have to admit that I can’t do it all the way I did pre-baby. I’m so accustomed to grinding my way through anything, but I have to go easier on myself, and know that being physically capable of crossing a line first is not the same as being the winner.

Today, DC has enough trail races and group runs to saturate a calendar. But it wasn’t that long ago that it was awfully lonely to be a trail runner in the District. Beyond a handful of events in Virginia run by Happy Trails, DC was a big black hole for organized trail running during the mid-2000s.

Enter Fairy Godmother. (Clarification: a younger, more athletic ultra-running godmother…). About a decade ago, Kerry opened the doors of her 1920s historic rowhouse to ultra runners. Located in one of DC’s poshest and most centrally located neighborhoods, steps from the Woodley Park – Adams Morgan metro station and all its restaurants and shops. As well as a ten-minute trot in either direction to the two major arteries of DC’s woodland trail networks: Rock Creek Park and Glover Archibald. You could pretend to be adulting as an urban professional, but really just go Peter Pan it as a dirt-bag trail runner with a collection of stinky running shoes in the hallway and a complete inability to empty a dishwasher.

No, there weren’t very strict criteria for getting a room in what would affectionately become known as the Woodley Ultra Society (WUS) house. After all, Sean and Keith were early tenants. So apparently you didn’t need to know how to dump trash on Wednesday Trash Night. Or even report that your toilet had been broken for three weeks.

No, all you had to do was be a full-throated ultramarathon trail runner. And by that measure, Sean and Keith were highly qualified. Keith once ran three 100-mile races in the span of three weeks. Sean was ultra stud enough to get his face smiling back at you from New Balance tags.

I myself never lived in the WUS house. Part of me was tempted. What could be more fun than partying with runners every day? Always having someone around to go on a woodland adventure with?

But I was wary of gorging on the ultra trail running scene. Running 100 miles is intensely physically demanding. And while many can do it in a healthy, self-limiting way, the rate of injury and burnout is high. Is there are part of me that regrets that I didn’t live out my young, free, single days going all-in on trail running? Sure. But it was a highly conscious decision. And living two blocks away from the WUS house, it was still an awful lot of fun to dip my toe in from time to time.

Photo Gallery

I. Fast

II. Fun

III. Furious

Highland Sky 40-mile trail race

June 8, 2019 — Canaan Valley, WV

I hadn’t run an ultramarathon in four years. The last time I did Highland Sky I had food poisoning. A bad hamburger had me laid out on the couch for days. I decided to be a hero and run anyway. Salmonella 1, Marmot 0.

But I decided it was high time to end my ultra draught. I owed the Sodds big time, and was ready to suffer a little on those trails. The last year has been a multi-stage journey of having a first child (euphemism for ‘total shit-show of blasting my body open and then ripping my life apart’). But every time I thought I was done for, the Sodds perked me up.

Bjorn is now ten-months old, everything is groovy (thank you, infant formula!), and running Highland Sky seemed like the best way to express my gratitude to those trails and how important they were in getting me through some rough patches of severe morning sickness and postpartum depression. I don’t think it should be called ‘postpartum depression’. I think it should be called ‘natural response to the sudden downgrade from Pregnant Lady Pampered Like a Queen to New Mom Serving Her New Master’s Impossible Needs Like a Slave.’

Highland Sky Question #1: Would you rather be a marmot or a puffin? 

Trevor (aka Tropical Puffin) and I finished Highland Sky each envying the other’s racing style. Puffins consistently perform at high levels by having a tight lid on their emotions, keeping their cool in the face of adversity, and generally making very difficult things look easy (like 200 mile races). On the other hand, Marmots are kind of hot messes. They run on fire and emotion. They vomit everywhere. Their emotions oscillate from exhilaration to whimpers to fury. And that’s just in five minutes.

From my vantage point, on my hands and knees in the grass by the finish line, barfing into a puddle, Trevor’s cool and collected running style seemed to offer a lot of advantages. I think most runners would agree with me.

• 

I’ve actually been trying for a decade to run more like a Puffin: less fire, more ice. During Highland Sky I repeated a couple mantras over and over to try to pull myself into a Puffin state of mind.

Mantra #1: Just cover the distance, best you can.

I would take a deep breath and try to remind myself that running Highland Sky isn’t about racing other people. Or breaking records. Or living up to your seeding. It’s about setting out to cover a pre-specified point-to-point course, with all its beauty and varied challenges, the best you can on that particular day.

Mantra #2: Manitou’s! Manitou’s!

Manitou’s Revenge is the only trail race where I’ve really been able to fully achieve that just-cover-the-distance mentality. Simply because it’s such a man-eater of a course. So I found myself chanting Manitou’s! to try to pull myself back into that mentality.

Mantra #3: I can slog for miles…and miles…and miles…

When nothing else is working, sing a lil Who.

Well, here’s a poke at you
You’re gonna choke on it too
You’re gonna lose that smile
Because all the while……

I can slog for miles and miles
I can slog for miles and miles
I slog for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Oh yeah!

But while I struggle to try to be a little more Puffin, maybe there’s a part of Trevor striving to be a little more Marmot. Not necessarily the part where I threw up my whole stomach at mile 32. Or in the first half of the race where I was feeling sorry for myself for feeling sick and lousy and getting passed by everyone and planning to drop at the midpoint (Bjorn — and his momma — have been fighting respiratory infections all spring). Or those many miles I spent fuming about certain people at work. Because that’s a great way to conserve energy during a long race when you’re not feeling well. But having a little more fire in the belly can come in handy in the homestretch.

With four miles to go, Aaron told me the lead woman was only two minutes ahead. I could just see her off in the distance down the road.

Brain: Let’s win!

Legs: Very funny.

Brain: This is it! Reel ‘er in!

Legs: May I remind you that we’ve been running for, um, 7 hours. Through knee-deep mud. Over mountains. Boulder fields. Nettles. That damn Road Across the Sky.

Brain: Yes, but….

Legs: And you’re sick. You’ve been coughing all week. You have a baby. Full of germs. You haven’t slept right in months.

Brain: But that’s not at all how the story goes. This is where we win. Cue the music!

Legs: You just threw everything up like 3 miles ago. We’re running on empty.

Brain: But you always outkick ’em in the end. Even just two months after giving birth.

Legs: Honey, this ain’t no 5k. Let’s toss your script. Welcome to the real world, where you haven’t run this far in 4 years. Where you did a grand total of 1 training run over 20 miles. And where, I hate to break it to you, that girl up there ain’t cracking. So let’s try to rein in the crazy and settle for a respectable second.

In the end, my brain conceded. As much as I wanted a comeback, to show that I still had my old pop even after having a baby, I gave in to realism. I tried put myself into a position where I could pounce if the lead woman faded. But she held strong, running all the hills, even through that awful thick grass at the end. We were both moving well and passed a couple of guys who were struggling at the end. Over the years, my finishing kick has gotten me out of so many jams. But not after 40 miles.

Sometimes you just have to be happy to cover the distance. And we had a killer women’s field, with Robin, Sheila, and Katie W. rounding out the top-5. Not sure when Highland Sky will again see such a deeply talented group of women filling out the top-5.

I smiled as I finished, genuinely happy to get a big hug and finally be able to collapse. I couldn’t get up for a very long time. Except momentarily to spew again.

Highland Sky Question #2: How many Canada geese would it take to kill you?

Trevor says 4. I’ll go with that.

Acknowledgments:

Aaron/baby care

Keith/race pictures

Adam and Dan/killer swag