Author: martha

Backyard Burn Spring Series #1

Wakefield Park, VA / March 3, 2019

Results

Aaron and I had been off the scene for a while now (Lyme disease, pregnancy, etc.). We’re Old Timers (Aaron was running the Backyard Burns when they started 16 years ago) and people don’t really know who we are anymore. But we won races three weekends in a row (Squirrelly Tail, Hashawa Hills, Backyard Burn). Sure, they’re dinky races. But it feels like we’re coming back.

Seneca Greenway Marathon/50k was offered the same weekend and I would have opted for that if it hadn’t been so damn long. There’s really a dearth of short trail races in the DC area (Keith, baby, don’t get me started on how bad VHTRC drops the ball here. For some reason VHTRC is fixated on ultras and only dabbles in non-ultras for one day a year. And the Women’s Half Marathon only exists because dear Clapper needed more chicks in the club). I got a 7-month baby and I’m just barely running 40 miles a week, so 10 miles is more my speed these days.

The BYB 5-mile and 10-mile races started together, which is logistically easier but kind of terrible for the 10-milers who get sucked into running too fast. I knew this would be an issue, and went out real conservative. Even still, at mile 2 I passed the leading woman (but let her know I was doing 10 and she was still winning the 5-mile race). At mile 5 I passed a guy who cautioned me to ‘Save something for the second loop.’

I’d saved plenty, thank you, and splashed through the mud puddles chasing down Chris Moore. The Wakefield trails are real ankle-breakers, twisty and muddy. Brady turned an ankle bad, giving me a chance at the end to make some ground on him. I’d never met Brady, but gleaned from what I knew that he had to be the guy in the ass-tight grey man-pri pants on the start line.

I finished 6th overall. I met my definition for ‘crushing’ a race. Sure helped that Sheila had done Catawba the day before.

[1st place man] – [my time} < [my time] – [second place woman]

There are rumors that runners get a bump in performance after having a baby. My verdict? It’s a real mixed bag. Your life is totally upended after having a baby, and some of those changes are an asset for running and some are a hindrance. On the pro side, I think being high-on-life happy new parents gives you some extra lift. As a historically undisciplined person, being a new parent has also forced me to be organized and efficient in a way I never was before (hello, 6am baby alarm!). Suddenly, I accept wearing a watch and tracking miles. After going through the physical demands of pregnancy and labor, you also really appreciate your body and the pure thrill of being able to run again.

There are a lot of cons, though. Suddenly you have very little time for yourself and for basic body maintenance (stretching, exercises, etc.). Long runs require crazy pre-planning. I barely get to pilates anymore. Less sleep and more overall stress also can take the legs out of a runner. My approach is to accept these constraints and be conservative, not ask for too much too soon. Sure, everyone’s going to be going farther than you, and do bigger miles and higher mountains. And that’s fine for now — cut yourself some slack. Adapt, do what you can manage — and have fun!

My friend Dave got me to sign up for the Squirrelly Tail Twail Wun, a half-marathon outside Harrisburg, PA near Dave’s house. Seven months after the arrival of baby Bjorn, I’m finally not pissing myself when I run hard. So it seemed like a good time to venture back into trail racing.

The Squirrelly Tail had the worst trail conditions I’ve ever seen. It was hard to decide what was worse: the thick white ice rinks or the shin-deep mud. In some places thin ice gave way to goopy brown puddles. ‘Ice slop’ Dave termed it.

Originally, the plan had been for our friends Tom and Meira from State College to run the Squirrelly Tail with us. Meira is a trail vet and would have loved the ridiculous conditions. But at least three times I thanked the heavens that Tom’s business commitments had kept him from racing. After we hit the first ice sheet he would have bailed and scurried back to his Porsche. And I never would have heard the end of Martha And Her Stupid Stupid Trail Running.

The Squirrelly Tail was Dave’s first real trail race, and he decided early on to just run with me. Dave has a history of questionable spatial awareness, and I was a little uneasy with him tight on my tail as I skidded to stop for ice sheets and danced laterally to navigate mud slops. But, after a light heel clip at the start, he put on a Gold Star performance for spatial awareness. Not even a bout of his classic halfwheeling.

I got a cute little squirrel figure for winning the women’s race. And the volunteers served up a mean bowl of peanut butter sweet potato chili, and laughed at how I had kicked mud all the way up my back.

After the race, when Aaron and I were perusing the results on UltraSignUp, we realized that this was the first trail race I’d won in like 5 years (not including Fat Asses). Aaron hadn’t won a race in 7+ years. Geez, what had happened to us? Aaron finally broke his streak with a victory the following weekend at Hashawa Hills 50k. Several times during the Squirrelly Tail I thought how happy I was to be only running 13 miles, and not 50k. With a baby I don’t have time to put in long mountain miles, so I’m going to be honing the shorter distances for a while. Which are a heckuva lot more fun anyway.

1. Everyone’s pregnancy is different.

2. Everyone’s baby is different.

3. The mega-eating you have to do while pregnant doesn’t end if you breastfeed. Just now, people look at you weird for double-stuffing your face with an otherwise normal body.

4. Babies have to push their poops out. With loud, sustained groaning, wrinkled foreheads, and squished red faces. It’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen.

5. The weight you gain while pregnant can take a really long time to come off (many months or more). Doesn’t matter if you’re a skinny runner type

6. Babies don’t smile for 6 weeks. During that time you’ll be preoccupied with the question: Should I kill it, or should I kill me?

7. Mom-shaming is totally a thing. Dad-shaming is totally not a thing. Gender equality is still a pipe dream. Even in really ultra liberal circles.

8. Breast milk is not like blood. You can’t just casually take it when you need it. Your boobs are like a pair of monsters that are continually engorging themselves and need to be drained every few hours. In reality, breast feeding is a major pain in the ass.

9. In the movies, your water breaks and then you scream and push and the baby pops out. In reality, my baby came out days after my water breaking. No one told me labor could be 61 hours.

10. Kids and grandparents get along splendidly because they have a common enemy: YOU.

Tussey MountainBack 50-mile Relay

October 7, 2018

State College, PA

This is the 14th year in a row that I’ve run MountainBack. I’m not committed to any streak. But I love making my annual pilgrimage back to State College to see all my Penn State running buddies. And spend a day with them bouncing along in a van making lewd jokes, griping about old joints, and searing our lungs and quads on Rockrock Forest’s unforgiving climbs.

‘Wow, your team would’ve been really fast 5 years ago.’

We thought of naming our relay team the Has-Beens. Or maybe the Ten-Pounders since all of us are about 10 lbs over our natural running weight. As the day went on, our unofficial slogan became ‘Pump It’, since the guys quickly found my breast-pumping stuff  in the van and spent much of the day imagining nefarious uses. Yes, I had to pump part-way through the event. Yes, it was a stretch to do MountainBack two months after giving birth. But Michelle and my mom, my invaluable crew, made it work.

The running part was actually the easy part, thanks to Dave’s company on my legs. I didn’t even piss myself this time. Way tougher was managing the personnel (two-month baby Bjorn and his grandmother) and their gear (they say breastfeeding is cheaper than formula, but by the time you add up all the pumping gear and feeding pillows and nipple creams I’m not so sure).

Costas dazzled in his technicolor outfit. But Bjorn stole the show. He cooed and charmed, and napped and smiled. I expect it won’t be long before Michelle comes to visit him in DC (open invitation there). He took a particular liking to Dave and Michelle. And he didn’t seem to hold it against Meira that she’d kicked Dave off her MountainBack team two years in a row.

Dave was another star of the trip, chauffeuring the three of us from Harrisburg to State College, and helping me haul my big boobs up the gnarly hill on Leg 3 (Dave’s training for the Harrisburg Marathon included doing some bonus miles by accompanying me on my leg). Dave and Bjorn were best buds by the end of the weekend.

I came home exhausted, hungry, and with boobs rock-hard from engorgement and too painful to sleep. As an evolutionary biologist, I started out committed to breastfeeding six months. But mentally, I’m so ready to go back to work, get back into running, and wean Bjorn off breastfeeding and transition him to formula.

Three extra months of formula isn’t going to matter a speck in the long run. Bjorn needs a momma who’s happy and free to be herself way more than he needs a boob. I’m proud I lasted this long, and it’s been a fun adventure to squeeze breastfeeding into a rough-and-tumble life. But I’m ready to move onto the next phase where there will be a lot more freedom. Bjorn says he’s game.