Title: FARTing in Moab

Key words: Wussies, Arches National Park, Buster, Service Animals, Cryptomatic Soils, Scrabble, Copper Mountain

Tags: #BetterThanLeesburg #ScenicPoops

Summary: 10+ Wussies converged in Moab, UT to run the Red Hot Moab 50k/30k.  Winners all around, as (a) Daniel bested this month’s Trail Runner coverboy Joe Grant to snag 9th place, (b) Martha got to cuddle with Buster, fulfilling a lifelong mission, (c) Sean gets to wake up every morning to Frisco instead of Leesburg, (d) Julian succeeded in continuing to lure his wife Asta into trail running, and (e) PJ further demonstrated why he won Rookie of the Year.  

Miles ponders what exactly is expected of him if Sean has a seizure atop this narrow strip of cliff

TEN LESSONS

Lesson #1.  If you really enjoy hosting visitors, move to Colorado.  Daniel reports hosting 39 visitors (including me and Aaron) since moving to Golden 1.5 years ago.  Sean’s summer in Frisco looks to be a revolving door of freeloaders.

Miles tries to inform Sean  that dogs don’t have opposable thumbs as they approach a rock wall

Lesson #2.  If you’d like your wife to enthusiastically take up trail running, sign her up unwittingly for the Moab 30k.  Even the most skeptical road runner type couldn’t help but be won over by Moab’s natural beauty.  And the course is surprisingly runnable.

Miles: wtf !!*@!$

Lesson #3.  If your wife is having a crap day (pun intended), and you’re not really in contention yourself, a high-rewards move would be to just run with her.  Even if that means putting up with a lot of moaning and dry heaving.  After laying 5 poops in the first 15 miles, I would have DNFed if Aaron hadn’t hung back to keep my spirits up.  Not sure what Aaron’s going to cash in all those points for, or whether he’s just going to sit on the stash.

Lesson #4.  No matter how bad you feel in an ultra, there is always a chance of turning a stomach problem around.  (By mile 22 I was eating and back to my old self.)  The challenge is to find that fine line of eating just enough to stay upright.

Lesson #5.  The real trick to ultra running is figuring out a way to appreciate the beauty of a place even when you feel like dirt.  #ScenicPoops

Lesson #6.  Your wife’s continued willingness to partake in ultra races may require compromise.  Given that my ultra races mostly consist of pooping and barfing, I decided that a way to keep me in the game long term is to strike a fair compromise.  Yes, I will continue to race ultras locally in the DC area.  But when Aaron and I travel to a really cool place like Moab, I want us to be able to just take the pace off and run it together for fun.  Otherwise a Marmot: Out! moment is imminent.

Lesson #7.  You need to overcome a lot of inertia to make a big move.  Especially if you’re someone as wedded to routine as much as Sean.  Kerry could tell whether it was Wednesday trash day by whether Sean was having pizza.  But once you do it, you wonder why the hell it took you so long.  And, by the way, the friends that gave you that much-needed push get everlasting dibsies on the guest bedroom.

Lesson #8.  The most prominently displayed words on the little vests that service animals wear should be DO NOT PET rather than SERVICE ANIMAL.  No one reads the small type.

Lesson #9.  Uber drivers are not informed of your desired destination until they actually pick you up.  So if you want a long-distance route (like Frisco to Golden), better to call the driver in advance and make sure they are game.

Buster!

Lesson #10.  It’s not a real vacation until you put on your bathing suit.  Fortunately, Daniel came through in the 11th hour with a hot tub experience to raise the bar for all future hot tubs.  Tunes.  Views.  Stars.  Snazzy lights.  Between Buster, the hot tub, and the basketball hoop, the Bedells are going to have a regular house guest.

Time for the audio-visual portion of this blog!

Conclusion: Marmots can sometimes be train wrecks.  But a little kindness from the hubby, some lovable kitties and puppies, and a consistent willingness to let her win at Scrabble can keep her a pleasant travel companion.

Future Discussion: Daniel had a very interesting conversation with Anton Krupicka in his podcast the Just Curious Show. Anton comes across as a pretty righteous dude who seems like a lot more fun than most of the lot of top ultra runners.  But it raised a series of interesting food-for-thought questions like:

• If you could run 200+ mile weeks and win big for 5 glorious years, but destroy your body in the process so you could never really run again, would it be worth it?
• Would Anton still be famous if he wore a shirt?
• Why don’t boys ever talk about really important things like girlfriends?